Ah, it had to happen. I’ve had such a good run since Christmas, but this week has brought the familiar warning signs, swollen glands, vibrations in my limbs (always a weird one), a body that seems to have forgotten quite how to move, and a brain that’s slowly shutting down, to the point of only being able to tolerate QVC.I know these signs, and I know the balance needs to be redressed.
Knowing this, I shouldn’t have visited my mom and dad on Thursday afternoon,(bacon sandwich and looking through old books, nice,but not too taxing), and I certainly shouldn’t have gone out for dinner on Friday.
Or should I? Feeling loved, laughing, chatting about nothing and everything are things that I miss a great deal. My main communication is through online messaging, which is great, but I know a lot of folk are busy, and it’s hard not to wonder if they do a little sigh when my avatar pops up. Reconnecting in person really is good for my heart,soul,my spirit. It gets me through the lonely days.
I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. Well, mostly just frustrated at this silly half life I live. Having said that, I am lying here watching birds from my window,and catkins becoming bright and plump. I have a lot of thinking time, and do still make notes. These vary in coherence, but still give me some material to work with . The days when I can’t write feel wasted, but taking time to heal a little will mean I am able to write again soon. And I really did have a lovely time on Friday.